Internet, gamers, trolls, whoever reads this. WHAT. THE. FUCK. The guys who designed this game must also be holding the head honcho of the ESRB's children hostage. Why? Because this game managed to get an "M" rating instead of a richly deserved "AO". Look, guys, I know I said Bayonetta is pretty much soft core porn, righ? DANTE'S INFERNO IS MOTHERFUCKING PORN I AM NOT KIDDING. And this was just the demo! TITS! EXPOSED TITS! A WOMAN PRETTY MUCH BEING FUCKED BY A SPIRIT RIGHT ON SCREEN!

The gameplay is fine, the enemy designs are pretty cool, and the story seems okay enough. A bit on the God of War knockoff side, but whatevs. The two games have a lot in common, both dealing with mythology/religion and all. I dare say I even like the game. But to get an M rating is completely offensive to my sensibilities. If you think I'm exaggerating, download the demo for yourself. Already done that? Still not convinced it's that bad? Read the ESRB's watered-down description of the shit in this game, keeping what you saw in the demo in mind. The shit is going to be graphic.

What pisses me off so much about it is that my rage toward the people who shrug off belligerent fan service was pretty much justified yesterday at the GameStop. I was talking to some fuckhead behind the counter about the above and he said, "That's not so bad." Then I mentioned the fact that there's cock in the game (Which is cool. At least it's not all demon vaginas and titties) and THEN the fucker gets up in arms. Really? REALLY?! I'm going to fucking develop a videogame called Dr MacMeaty's Wild Banana Hammock Moustache Ride and see how many dudes complain about THAT fan service in a game. If you thought Cho Aniki was a sausage party? Brace yourself, bitches.

Fucking hypocrites. What's more is that I still feel like I'm viewed as the crazy asshole here because I seem to be the only dude on Earth anymore who has enough god damned sense to see how dumb other dudes are. THIS is exactly the kind of shit that makes all gamers (male gamers, specifically) look like desperate nerds who need virtual tits because we can't get any in real life. Guess what? I just want to fucking play videogames.

I understand that SOME of the game is going to have grown-up moments. It's about Hell. I get that. I don't even have a problem with the content in the game. Just give it the fucking AO rating. I'll tell you what, internet. If any of you played the demo and read the ESRB description and can give a solid defense as to why this game DOESN'T deserve AO? I'll take down this post, and never post another videogame related opinion ever again.

Keep in mind this is a game I actually plan on purchasing because I still think it's an okay game. This isn't because I hate it, or want it to get a bad rating so no one will play it. It seriously deserves an AO rating for its content.

The cut below is intended for two people in specific, but I encourage
others to read it, in hopes that it may open your eyes to your behavior
should you act like those targeted below.

( Read more... )