I LOVE horror movies. I have always loved them, since the days of being a four year-old lad who would pop in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies at 8 in the morning to watch them with his cousins. And don't get me wrong, folks, I thought the first two Saw movies were pretty damn good. But Saw 6? Really? We need SIX of the same movie?

If you're on Twitter at all, there is a fun trending topic going on right now called #Saw6taglines that you may enjoy. If not, add some of your own tag lines here that may be better, worse, or at least more entertaining than "If it's Halloween, it must be SAW." Here are some of mine:

"We can't let M. Night Shyamalan outdo us in the bland horror genre!"
"Saw 6: Swayzee's Revenge"
"Old men with cancer are fucking scary."
"Oh yes. There will be BLAH."
"How are we gonna beat a dead horse THIS time? Huh? HUH?!"
"If you thought the Scream franchise needed to fucking die..."

For those of you in this community who may be asking yourselves, "Why would this guy feel the need to specify that it's 'The Movie'? Is it a book? A game?"

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The reason that I went into such depth about the games themselves was to 1. Hopefully turn those of you who like these types of games on to a new one you may not have heard of (the series has a strong cult following, but never gained the mainstream like Silent Hill or Resident Evil did), 2. Show those of you who have never played the game what you could expect from the movie, and 3. Stir some discussion from those who may have played these games, and see what aspects you would hope to see in the movie itself.

I didn't talk much about these games story lines, because except for the first two, they're all very different and have little to do with the previous games. I also figured that a rambled on enough about the individual games that you all would stop reading halfway through if I continued on any longer.

So, to cut to the chase, what are some thoughts out there from those of you who have seen horror games made into horror films? Are you anticipating this title, or are you dreading it?

Now that we've mourned the loss of MJ for the day, I figured it would be time to post something new. Well, not NEW, but new to anyone who hasn't seen it before. A little known film came along in the late 90's. It was a film that I thought was complete and total WIN. It was low-budget and a little cheesy, but I thought it was great. That movie was Six-String Samurai.

It is set in an alternate future where the Russian dropped the bomb in the 50's; later occupying what was left of the USA. The last remaining free city is in what used to be Nevada: Lost Vegas. After a long reign as the king of Lost Vegas, Elvis (Who else?) has passed away. Now every badass musician with a sword is on their way through the desert to claim the throne as theirs; even Death himself.

The protagonist is known only as Buddy (obviously supposed to be Buddy Holly), and he is hell-bent on becoming the next King.

What makes this movie so great isn't the cheesy fight choreography, nor the awful costumes. No, this movie has an excellent soundtrack that I think effectively captures the mood of the movie. You have everything from The Red Elvises playing their own rocking blend of Surfabilly and Rockabilly to an awesome score done by Brian Tyler inclusing this:



THE MOST BADASS way to begin a battle to the death is always with guitars.

So if you've never seen this flick, and have some free time, I recommend seeing if it's on NexFlix, or just buying a copy. And if you love music the way I do, the soundtrack is on Amazon for dirt cheap from some buyers. Now go. Witness this awesome movie.

Remember when we all heard about that GOD-AWFUL Tekken movie? You all probably thought if we ignored it it would go away, right? Well, folks, we couldn't be more wrong. You know what is worse than that? Wanna know who's in this ass fest? Well number one we have MMA fighter Cung Le as Law. Not bad, I guess. He's Asian, he can fight, and I think he's kind of badass.

BUT. Wanna know who's playing psychotic cyborg, Bryan Fury? None other than that white asshole who played Kenshiro in the live action Fist of the North Star!

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/15803


This isn't necessarily good news, but it isn't bad new either. Hopefully this will be one remake that doesn't suck.

Thoughts?

A teensy bit of me just exploded in rage. I guess the best we can hope for now is that this will be not just bad, but fantastibad. At least Vice and Mature look like they kind of fit the part? Maybe? ::sobs::

If you haven't already heard, they're doing a movie based off of the videogame series The King of Fighters. It seems that Hollywood didn't learn their lesson from their attempt at making a Street Fighter movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1038685/

I wouldn't say that I had high hopes for this movie, but I gave people the benefit of the doubt. I figured "Hey, Hollywood made a huge pile of crap, so how could they possibly make the same mistake twice? I mean this movie won't be what I think it should be, but it won't suck that hard." Thanks for proving me wrong yet again, American movie makers and producers. I feel that if this had been handled by a foreign production company, that it might have had some hope of being kind of cool.

Instead, they change names of characters (Ryo Hazuki is actually supposed to be Ryo Sakazaki. Kara "King" Hazuki is supposed to be just King, and she is NOT Ryo's wife.), cast inappropriately (Mai is being played by Maggie Q? Really? I hope they CGI up some boobs.), and fuck up the game's timeline. Granted the movie is supposed to have "time travelling" in it, but I don't see them handling any of this well. No. Not at all. The casting choices and roster of characters appearing in this film has confirmed for me that this movie will probably end up being WORSE than the live action SF movie.

And I'm sure KoF: The Movie: The Game won't be too far behind this ridiculous ass movie.

EDIT:

To save Hollywood the trouble, here is my idea for the next fighter made into a fucked up movie.

GUILTY GEAR XX: THE RECKONING

Sol Badguy (played by Michael Clark Duncan) is on a quest to stop the insane Gear known only as Testament (played by Jason Statham. Why the fuck not, right?) from destroying the few remaining Japanese fighters left in the world: May (Mary Kate Olsen), Baiken (Mariska Hargitay), and Anji Mito (Toby McGuire).

Meanwhile Chipp Zanuff (Ho Sung Pak) is busy fighting Johnny (Antonio Banderas) over who is the most badass sky pirate.

There's also some explosions and a talking dog named "Snuffy".

And Ky Kiske isn't in the movie because that would make sense.

...because The Dark Knight was really fucking good. Even though Christian Bale's "I'm a big gruffy Batman" voice was just as retarded as I remembered from Batman Begins, it didn't ruin Heath Ledger's spot-on interpretation of The Joker. Ask anyone I know and they'll tell you I was really worried about this version of The Joker sucking. He totally did NOT! Let's run down the checklist, shall we?

-Violent

-Insane

-Batman dude crush

-Happy-go-lucky

-Awesome

-Mildy Schizophrenic

-Pathological liar

-Sociopath

It's all there. Do the math. I know I'm probably the last guy to update about this film, but hey. Eff you. I didn't want to see the film while smashed into some fat ass's armpit as he was all, "D00D! Teh Joker is mad coolios, ya'll!"

If you haven't heard already, Capcom is letting America have another stab at making a live action Street Fighter. It seems that they're taking it in another direction; a direction seems like it might have been the vision of the screenwriter who wrote the first aborted attempt. You know, before his vision was obstructed by the haze of hallucinegenic drugs that caused the movie to be so very unorganized and rushed.

The movie will focus entirely on Chun Li, and will also be limited to just five characters from the SF franchise (Chunnners, Charlie, Bison, Vega, and Balrog), possibly in an attempt to keep focus on the main story, and not get sidetracked by terrible attempts at sub-plot like the failure before it. So no cheezy hadokens, no Hawaiian sumos, no Balrog that isn't a baddie, and (rest his eternal soul) no Raul Julia as M. Bison.

What follows is a link to what is allgedly the confirmed cast for the movie.

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/03/20/street-fighter-legend-of-chun-li-cast-confirmed/

I'm kind of skeptical myself. I mean, Taboo as Vega? Has he ever acted before? Michael Clark Duncan as Balrog? Did the residual checks from Daredevil run out already? He can't be this hard up for work.

Share your thoughts, and hopefully a link to something proving me wrong about this "confirmed cast".

Warner Brothers has bought the rights to, and will be releasing in 2009, a Captain fucking Planet live-action movie. No, no. I'm not kidding. Oh how I wish I were kidding. This news hurt my soul a little.

Don't believe me? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Planet#Movie_Announcement

Also...I didn't stay until the end of Cloverfield (after the credits had finished rolling), but after talking with my friend about the movie, he said they actually left room for...a sequel. After the end of the credits, you hear someone on a CB radio saying, "It's still alive!"

Damn you forever, Hollywood.

Or as I like to call it, "Blair Witch 3: Godzilla Takes Manhattan". If you loved the motion sickness-causing camera work of the first Blair Witch, that also showed you absolutely nothing terrifying, left you wondering just what the hell it was those stupid white kids were running from, the terrible acting of people trying to act like they're real people, and a big monster wrecking New York for no apparent reason, then Cloverfield is the film for you. Personally, I counted on this movie sucking. It didn't suck too bad, so there is that. If you can get past the horrible "camcorder" work of one of the main characters, it wasn't too bad of a movie. An unoriginal plot? Yes. Annoying actors? You bet. A lame monster that you don't ever get a good shot of? Damn skippy. So why would I think this isn't a bad film? Because I love movies where everyone dies. If you want to go see a weaksauce movie with no real plot, then have at it. Otherwise, save your money and pop in the Blair Witch Project. Then pop in The horrible Godzilla remake starring Matthew Broderick. Then talk to your friends or significant other about what it would be like if the two were ever combined.

Random AIM convo
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I Am Legend aka Castaway 2. Read the short story it was based off of. Completely different EVERYTHING! It pissed me off so much, it made me want to punch a baby in the throat!

On a scale of lame to terrible, I give it a Rob Zombie's Halloween.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) -- "Transformers" director Michael Bay is reviving the "Friday the 13th" franchise through his low-budget production company. The remake of the original 1980 horror classic, which turned the villainous Jason into a cultural icon, is being produced for New Line Cinema by Bay's Platinum Dunes banner. Platinum Dunes was also behind the revival of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Hitcher." In the original "Friday the 13th," the serial killer made only a brief appearance in the final frames and never killed anyone. Jason didn't even don the famous mask until the third movie. The remake, however, will focus on Jason -- who will wear the mask and kill -- and keep the famous setting of Crystal Lake. Damian Shannon and Mark Swift will write the script. They wrote 2003's "Freddy vs. Jason," the killer's last big-screen appearance. That film grossed more than $82 million domestically.


WHAT. THE. HELL?!

Discuss.

I told my wife I wasn't going to post about this because it required too much effort, but a member of a horror movie community I'm in posted a positive review of this abortion. So, here we go.... I'll try to keep it as spoiler free as possible for those of you who actually will want to see it after reading this.

While there was time spent giving Mike some back story, the majority of it was cap you could have pieced together on your own. I will give Zombie big ups for doing the first half of the movie well, up until the point where he's grown up. If they had kept that momentum, it would have been great all throughout.

And while it is a retelling of the story, I feel they left out significant parts of the original backstory, such as Myers obsession with the Pagan god of death (or whatever the hell it was). They just made him a psycopathic man, while is fine, just doesn't fit to me. Especially when you think about things like how he got so strong (and huge. They made him a damned ogre) in confinement with no weights, or hints as to it being a side effect of any meds he was on.

And I hate, hate, HATED the victims. The girls were all so "ZOMG We're teens in high school!", and I found myself waiting in anticipation for him to off the bitches, and their 2-D boyfriends. I found every character in the movie BUT Myers to be charicatures of what they were portraying.

For me, the movie was akin to trying to push out a big crap for two hours until the sweet release of the credits let me go.

Feel free to discuss, especially if you've seen this garbage already.