Bobby Fisher passed away in iceland. 

I can't say much for his actions, but the man was really an outstanding player of the game. I might start playing chess that way. It sounds intriguing.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights: a) Yeah, Ba-by, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
" BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

How many man laws have you broken, dudes?

I've decided to take on the tedious assignment of going through my LJ and tagging my journal. So if you guys really get bored, you can read through what I've tagged so far (it isn't much, but come back in a few days and it'll be oh so much more! =D). I'm trying to keep the number of tags limited, so I'm able to group more entries together.

Damn. I thought I had something to post about, but then my brain locked up. Oh well. Sorry guys.

I have to get up ass early to stand securiity for the President's visit to Newport tomorrow. Lame...

Dear lord...I don't think I've had one minute to myself for the past two months. My brain is fried, I'm overworked mentally and physically, and I just want an entire day where I don't have to do anything but sit on my ass and be lazy (and completely silent), followed by another day where I can organize my apartment, car, workspace, and other aspects of my life. I'm done complaining now. Blar.

Okay...so the majority of yesterday was spent recovering from the previous night. Drinking heavily and staying up until 7:30 the next day wasn't such a good plan. The only way I could tell the difference between the real world and my disturbing dreams was the shards of glass feeling that I had in my muscles. I slept all day, with the exception of waking up to take my girlfriend to and from work.

This binge didn't help my virus, however. I feel like I've taken a step back healthwise. The damn doc wouldn't even give me any medication. For a virus! He gave me cough drops, and said I was okay to go back to work. I've been sick for a damn week, and waking up every morning, feeling as if a sponge sapped all the liquid from my body while I was sleeping. I was getting better until I went drinking. But I don't regret it.

It's nice to be around people who don't want anything from you other than friendship, and just have a good time. That's why I miss home sometimes. There's never enough time to be around those that matter. Never enough time to say all the right things, or do everything you can for people. It's especially hard for me, because I come off as a real ass, even to my closest friends. I'm one of those people that others sometimes have trouble deciding if they're being sarcastic or not. Well I suppose I have typed enough on here. I have to do laundry and go to the gym.

I've been waiting for 2006 to end...well...for about a year. Most of it was pure hell for me, but towards then end things have started to look up. Hopefully 2007 will not suck balls. I had to work on New Years Eve, of all things. At least we took the arcade over for two hours after we closed. I showed a guy I work with just how sucky Kilik players are by whipping up on him with Maxi.

And now we've come to the new year. The time when people make resolutions, about as consistant as a fart, to become better in some way. I never make resolutions, personally, because I always try to improve myself, even if it's in little ways.

But seeing as how everyone is not like me, what are some resolutions that you, my loving and sexified readers, have? I'd like to see what you all are resolving to do or not do this year.

I started my first story on my new LJ. I'll let you guys decide. I've never been to good with starting a story well, but be honest if you think it's really terrible.

http://chucksnwaffles.livejournal.com/741.html

I've been getting a creativity itch every now and again, and I get ideas once in a blue moon for decent comedy. Long story short, I'm thinking of creating another account for short stories that would be satrical, or just plain funny. I'm only doing this because I don't always have pen and paper handy, but my SK is always on hand. That, and if I don't get ideas out of my brain quick enough, they eat it alive. I also like to write about city life, and have a lot of music-influence. So if I create this journal, would any of you read it, and possibly give me suggestions on how to improve the story? And by improve, I don't mean correct my spelling and grammar, or giving me suggestions that your college professors may have given you. If there's one thing I learned, it's that teachers can't write for shit. If they could, they wouldn't be teachers. They'd be best-selling authors.

Time for another early morning post about nothing in particular! Whoo!

I don't know why, but whenever I'm awake at 0500 on the weekends, my mind starts to wander back to memories from two and three years ago. I guess the extra time to sit and think during the day is what does it.
I'll throw this under an lj cut. It's mainly a contemplative post, that turned into a long thing, but if you want to read it, be my guest. =D
( Read more... )

I was originally gonna do this post in mock RPG style since I've been playing Summoner waaaaaaaay too much lately, but decided against it because it would take too long, and someone would want to punch me in the kidneys if they read through the entire thing. So I'll just talking about the events of my 21st birthday.

The daytime was uneventful. I took the two Marines out for the day, did a little shopping, and took them back to their rooms. I was going to end my day when I saw a friend of mine. The dude had been drinking since noon. Well off we went to go bar hopping. Eventually we wound up in Providence at Hell. It was a good night, and Sam, I definitely downed a few for ya. =D

We ran into some Navy guys who thought I was lying about being a Marine until I showed them my I.D. But we ended up hanging out together and having a great time. That is until my friend got kicked out for pissing on a wall in the alley. I gave him the remote for the locks in my car, and told him to go sleep it off. He was pretty bad the whole night. Imagine. I had to be the responsible guy on my birthday. So I stayed in the club, hung out with my new acquaintences, and met a little gay guy who wanted me to show him my penis.

I eventually headed home at 0500 the next day, and told my friend the next time we went out, he shouldn't hit the bottle so hard. I need to get some non-alcoholic friends.... Sheesh.

I dropped a box cutter, and let it hit the ground. There was a time when I would have snatched it mid fall without giving second thought as to whether or not I'd get cut. I've lost my edge, and have lost it for quite some time evidently.

If anyone has an amusing one liner they'd like to share with the world, put it here. So far, I already put one down. The best quote will be chosen as the quote for 2006, and anyone who contests that will get smited square in the nuts.