A Street Kid Named Desire

MY! DJ! HERO! IS YOU!

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:59:30 GMT

So yeah. If you read my last post, or follow me on Twitter, you know I purchased DJ Hero. I truly did scoff hard at this game when I heard about it.

I said hurtful things like, "I liked it better when it was called Beatmania!" and, "First they alienated my love of rock music, and now techno?! Thanks a lot..."

Then I read the tracklisting. I got tempted to play Daft Punk songs, as well as some of the intersting sounding mash-ups on the game. So yeah, I'm a hypocrite, and yeah you can lol at me all you want, intarwebz. But this game is good, and waaaaaay easier than fucking Guitar Hero. I love rhythm games, but when a game makes it harder to play than the actual instrument itself that's when things stop being fun for me. That's exactly what Guitar Hero did for me, and exactly what DJ Hero DIDN'T do (not that I've ever DJed, but I can imagine that creating your own mixes on a live turntable is much harder than this game makes it).

The game boasts in impressive list of respectable DJs who have mixed songs for your pleasure. You have DJ Shadow, DJ Z Trip, Daft Punk, and DJ AM (RIP). A lot of the songs get reused, but they use different parts of the songs in each mix, kind of making it a moot point. Oh yeah, GRAND MASTER FLASH AND DJ JAZZY JEFF MIX IN THIS GAME TOO SO EAT A DICK. If you have a problem with the music in this game, then this is obviously not the game for you and you have very poor taste in music. In particular, 2Pacs "All Eyez On Me" and Aranbee Pop Symphony's "Bittersweet Symphony" is the catchiest fucking mash-up on the game, in my opinion.

The gameplay could be a little more intuitive, and at times tries to force you to think out of both sides of your brain in ways that are pretty much impossible for me. But it's not bad, and the game incorporates features that let you change the difficulty in the middle of a setlist. This eliminates the frustration of having to start a set all over just to play a damn game.

The crossfade switch is a little tricky; at times being very sensitive, and others not being sensitive enough. The layout of the crossfade on the screen in tandem with scratches and taps makes it pretty much impossible for me to follow what I'm doing when the intensity of the game is at its peak. I can only imagine that this is the same for a lot of people, unless you're the asian rhythm game champ. Be mad at that if you want, but we all know asians own rhythm games forever. But I hope that in the future they let people who AREN'T DJs play this game in beta, and decide to make the layout of the game a little more friendly to those of us who only WISH that we were DJs.

I also wish that there were more original pieces in the game, instead of just mash-ups. Overall I highly recommend this game.

I've decided that I will main Bang and sub Hakumen

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:26:32 GMT

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/ps3/file/958720/57901

Or maybe the other way around. I have to see how well I hold up online with Hakumen. My Shishigami ninpo style has been improved markedly, and my victory percentage is slowly on the rise. Spammy Taokaka players are easy now, and most Jin players are becoming a snap. But Noel, OH NOEL VERMILLION YOU EQUILIBRIUM-INSPIRED SPAMMY BITCH...

I have officially dubbed this game Blaz N00b. Seriously. I don't EVER want to hear anyone bitch about any Guilty Gear cheapness ever again. At least Sol, Chipp, Ky, Axl, etc. all require more skill than just pushing buttons.

This is more for me than any of you

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:07:07 GMT

Bang Shishigami combo list: http://s1.zetaboards.com/blazblue/pages/bangcombolist/

Need to get some serious practice in some time. Fucking Noel Vermillion...

Old School SF Ownage

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:49:40 GMT

Also why I will never play online or enter a tourney...

forgot to mention...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:26:05 GMT

My PS3 name is Disco_Granny if anyone has a PS3 out there.

Beyonce Clown Fail

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:33:12 GMT

If you loved Benny Lava...

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:22:18 GMT

YOU'LL LOVE INDIAN THRILLER!

Fanservice and You: A Mad Cap Gaming Excursion With Yours Truly

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:46:08 GMT

I've been playing videogames since I was old enough to hold a controller. My first game was NOT a Mario game, but it was Blaster Master. I loved it. I love good videogames, period. I always will.

It wasn't until recent years that I started to notice the amount of fanservice thrown into games. Not just games like DoA and Bloodrayne, but other games as well. I thought Onechambara was a stupid fucking concept for a game, and I'm a man who loves his zombies. This new found awareness did not come about on its on. I never once paid any attention to the way women were portrayed in videogames. If a game was good, it stood on its on merit for me. Tits and ass has never drawn me to a game, nor does it keep me there. It was through my relationship with Robyn, and our conversations about such things that I became aware of the absurd amount of fanservice in games. It was a pretty useful exchange of ideas that helped me become a bit more perceptive.

Now I know what you dudes reading this are thinking: "This guy is just whipped and that's why he's agreeing with his wife," and you'd be partially right. Of course I value the opinion of someone I care about, but that doesn't mean that it then becomes my own.

Like most dude gamers, I used the "Well there's fan service for chicks too." defense. But just how all men aren't attracted to chicks with tits larger than humanly possible who dress like they're on a beach with a very loose dress code, not all chicks are attracted to shirtless dudes ripped to the point of hyper-muscularity, or the "pretty boy" characters Final Fantasy fangirls go on about. What's more to the point is that the only women to be portrayed as sexy in the vast majority of videogames are either dressed like complete sluts, or dressed in such a way to fulfill a very specific fetish (e.g. loli). There is rarely a middle ground in the already limited female cast of videogames, and it makes it look like all men only care about tits and ass. The biggest problem with this is that it sets a ridiculous standard of what is "attractive" for young girls getting into videogames. For the sake of proving this argument, I will use the most offensive (in my opinion) example of fan service in games today: Soul Calibur's Ivy, and her ever-growing breasts.

For dudes to look at a ripped ass guy in a videogame and say, "I want to be like that." is easier than if a girl wants to be like Ivy. A dude just needs to work out by lifting weights, running, doing some sit ups, and (for the sake of getting muscle mass) taking protein supplements. To obtain a body type like Ivy's is physically impossible, and would require a series of surgeries to get it. No amount of diet or exercise will get a woman tits larger than Rhode Island, a waist as thin as a small book, and hips larger than her head.

I have enough sensibilities to know that women have enough body issues given to them from their families, jackass boyfriends, and other aspects of the media. I've always regarded videogames (for me, anyway) as a safe haven; a place where the mind can wander, be challenged, and explore the ideas of the designers. To hear that it's not like that for all gamers truly does offend me, and for my own peace of mind I really need to ask the guys out there this question. Do you even find chicks like Ivy attractive, or is Namco just making her look more grotesque and unclothed in each SC installment as a joke? I can tell you right now that I won't be purchasing any SC games, because I don't want to boot up a game in the future and see boobs the size of Jupiter squirting milk as an attack (see a game called Queen's Blade, because they already beat Namco to it anyway!).

Robyn has even conceded that when a character's personality fits it, the fanservice aspect of her can be believable. But fanservice for the sake of fanservice is just retarded and I agree with her. To have it brought to my attention from someone whose gaming experience it ruins actually ruins my gaming experience as well. Why does it ruin MY gaming experience? Personally, it ruins my chance of a good time because of how I play videogames. I am one of the fortunate who married a woman that accepts that I am a gamer, and doesn't get upset if I want to vegitate in front of a game for hours on end. She is into videogames, but not as much as I am. She is knowledgeable about games, plays some games casually, and just appreciates gaming in general. On the other side of the coin (for those that wonder), I do spend more time with Robyn than my games because...well...I'm a fucking grown-up who understands that a relationship will not last long if all one person does is slog through their games and not pay any attention to their sigificant other (and I DO have games to slog through, people. So many games...). But when I do sit down for a game, Robyn usually watches me play. She'll comment on the game, tell me if I may have missed something, and just generally is good company.

For me, part of gaming is having Robyn as an active participant, and when she doesn't value a game for gratuitous fan service my gaming experience is, in turn, ruined because we both can't enjoy the game.

Now when I say gratuitous fan service I'm not talking about No More Heroes or anything in that vein. I'm talking about games that are like I've already mentioned, and yes I include Bayonetta in this category. If you had talk to me just 3 years ago and handed me a demo of Bayonetta, I probably would have thought this a pretty awesome game. I haven't played it, but enough people around me have praised its gameplay and ingenuity. Fanservice be damned, I would have liked it. But there's a point where you have to step back and wonder "Is this really necessary to the game?"

I understand the whole concept of her hair as a weapon, and even wearing it for protection or whatever excuse the made up for her to be wearing nothing but her hair. I'm on board for that much of it, and can suspend my disbelief accordingly. However, the critic in me comes out and says, "REALLY?!" when that is all she's wearing. Even if it were a pair of boyshorts and a halter top, I could maybe see my way to understanding it better. It's sexploitation, and more or less softcore pr0n.

"No one complains about half-naked dude characters."

You're missing the point. Even when male characters are regarded as sexual objects in a game, it is not in the same way a female character is regarded. The demographic, even though it has shifted in recent years, for gaming has always been dudes. Developers will pander to your horomones to make a buck. Look at games like BMX XXX or (UGH!) The Guy Game. Even when a male character is being sexualized, he is still in control.

"But Bayonetta is the aggressor in this game, and WILLINGLY does this to herself while dominating men."

Look who developed this game. A guy. At this point, anything done to try and compensate for the fact that sexploitation has gone on in such a way for so long just leaves me cynical, especially since it's a guy who made it. He may just be pandering to submissive males in hopes of tapping a new market of gamer. I know that probably isn't the case but when things like moe and loli and gothic lolita have been introduced into mainstream gaming, can you really put anything past game developers? This is not a game meant to demean women but don't try to portray it as one empowering them either, and you never see men just treated as sexual objects for the hell of it.

I'm not saying that men are evil. Being one myself, that would be pretty damaging to my own cause. I'm just trying to get a point across that the attitude of "Oh, it's just a little harmless fanservice. They do it to guys too." is not a good attitude to have.

"But I'm a girl gamer and I don't care about it. I say let the boys have their cheesecake and I'll keep my naughty fanart of Sephiroth."

Sorry, but that attitude is the reason most of your kind (female gaming/anime fangirls) end up a big ball of crazy. There's nothing wrong with your willingless to compromise on this issue, and I applaud your open-mindedness. As with all things though, it isn't about just you. I hate to sound like I'm on a soapbox about the whole thing, but think of the younger generation of girls who have to grow up with these images telling them that is what they should look like.

I know that in a perfect world this would not be an issue, but we aren't in a perfect world, are we? I know the Japanese are weird and that fanservice is pretty vanilla in their games, but that doesn't mean it should be treated so lightly. I'm not saying that we should censor videogames, but we shouldn't take such a passive role in the content of our games just because "it could be worse".

This isn't by any stretch intended to get anyone to hate games like Bayonetta, nor is it meant to villify its creators. This is meant to give gamers (male gamers, especially) a broader view of fanservice and why it might be offensive. I don't expect to change anyone's mind, but to give you all something to chew on.

Saw 6 blah blah blah

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:59:12 GMT

I LOVE horror movies. I have always loved them, since the days of being a four year-old lad who would pop in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies at 8 in the morning to watch them with his cousins. And don't get me wrong, folks, I thought the first two Saw movies were pretty damn good. But Saw 6? Really? We need SIX of the same movie?

If you're on Twitter at all, there is a fun trending topic going on right now called #Saw6taglines that you may enjoy. If not, add some of your own tag lines here that may be better, worse, or at least more entertaining than "If it's Halloween, it must be SAW." Here are some of mine:

"We can't let M. Night Shyamalan outdo us in the bland horror genre!"
"Saw 6: Swayzee's Revenge"
"Old men with cancer are fucking scary."
"Oh yes. There will be BLAH."
"How are we gonna beat a dead horse THIS time? Huh? HUH?!"
"If you thought the Scream franchise needed to fucking die..."

This could be really good or really bad...

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:51:31 GMT

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_Forever

Either way, THIS is what they should have based the TMNT Smash Up game on. Not the shitty 4th TMNT movie, with 3 Raving Rabbids as unlockable characters in this game (WTF?!).

I might get this movie when it comes out. The Ninja Turtles will always be cool in my book.

But back to the topic of Smash Up. What the hell?! I didn't buy it, because Sonic Team has made me distrust any childhood thing I ever liked being made into a new videogame. There have already been TMNT fighting games in the past (the best one being for the SEGA, in my opinion), and most have sucked. I waited for the reviews to come out, and I knew something was up when the reviews were so very vague about unlockable content, fan service, or anything that a long-time TMNT fan would care about. Here's the generic review of this game (on a half shell!): "This game is for you Smash Bros fans who also are TMNT fans! Yay!"

I've never been one to fully (if at all) base my purchase on someone who gets paid to review games. Instead, I tend to rely on people who actually play games, and aren't afraid to say flat out if something sucks. The people have spoken, and there is an extreme lack of content, and you're better off playing SSB Brawl. I think the amount of unloackable content in Brawl is ridiculous to the point of it actually angering me. Then again, I hate SSB Brawl. The only reason I own the game is for Sonic.

But for them to throw so much content into that game, but throw so little into Smash Up is upsetting. Even if it were just alternate skins for the characters, or clips from the original cartoon. But no. Nothing. Instead we get Rabbids. Fuck this game and, while I'm at it, fuck Smash Brothers Brawl.

Muramasa the Demon Blade (Game Review as Done from Time-to-Time by Yours Truly)

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:21:08 GMT

Seldom does a game come along that I have absolutely nothing bad to say about. The last time I was truly happy with a game would be the days when SEGA was the 16 bit master of my life. Needless to say, that was some time ago. This was also the first time in a long time that I jumped into a game knowing next to nothing about it, making my judgement solely on the graphics, and was not disappointed. AT ALL.

You pop this game in, and you're greeted with beautiful opening artwork. This is just a small taste of things to come. Since I usually break reviews down into good and bad and overall, this review is going to seem less organized by comparison, as I have nothing bad to say about this game. But let's start with...

GRAPHICS

If you're one of those people who complains about the Wii's limited graphic capabilities, I'll be the first to throw this game in your face. The environments, the character designs, and the cut scenes were all done flawlessly. The style of the game seems to be a hybrid of Japanese scroll art and anime. It's beautiful, and the music only compliments the historic Japan feel. This is what Samurai Shodown would have been if they didn't make a fighter, but a beat 'em up. I feel the need to preface my next statement by saying that this is not meant to be a sarcastic statement. Muramasa is not just a videogame; it is a fucking experience. I started playing it around 6 or seven at night, and by the time I finished Kisuke's story it was almost nine in the morning. I was so immersed in this game I had lost all sense of what time even was. What's more is that I couldn't stand putting the game down until I had achieved total victory. You feel like you're watching a really good anime instead of actually playing a videogame.

Some of the backgrounds are reused, but that's forgiveable when you consider the amount of detail that went into creating each one. Also consider this: it's ancient Japan so a lot of woods and countrysides would probably look kind of similar anyway, right? Also, if you enjoy action games in the same vein as Muramasa, you're not complaining about this since reusing backgrounds and enemy character sprites has been a cost-effective way of creating since the 80's.

GAMEPLAY

At the start up screen you're given the opportunity to choose your destiny. There are three control methods: Wii controls (LOL), Wii Classic Controller, and the Gamecube controller (my personal choice). You start with two difficulties from which to choose. However, upon beating the game once, you unlock an insane difficulty where one hit will kill you instantly.

Once you pick your poison you have two separate stories from which to choose: Kisuke (young, badass ninja type) and Momohime (young princess possessed by a malicious spirit). I played through as Kisuke and hot DAMN. After a brief tutorial to familiarize yourself with the controls you are thrown into the fray.

The tutorial shows you basics (movement, attack button, jumping, etc.), but then shows you what makes this game so cool, I STILL feel like they gave me this game by mistake and gave some cooler dude the lame-o game meant for me. The only times your character is able to walk are during scenes where he/she must deliberately interact with the characters on screen to proceed to the next battle. When he/she isn't doing that, they're running around like a coked out ninja, slicing the hell out of anything in their way. Oh, and one of my favorite game features for any game ever? They can glide through the air. I'll let you in on a little known fact about me: give any character in a game, any character at all, the ability to glide or float down to deliver doom upon the heads of their enemies and I'm pretty much sold on that game (the Legacy of Kain series, Chrono Trigger's Magus, and now Muramasa).

You fight with three blades at your disposal when you're in BATTLE mode, and can switch freely between them with the press of a button. HOWEVER, The blades have their own health gauges ala Samurai Shodown, called "Souls", and when the souls of your blades have charged sufficiently you can perform a "quick draw" attack by switching to another sword. Simply put, this attack ruins the day of any enemy and mid-air projectile coming your way. If you're a fan of ninja/samurai movies, then you know all about Zatoichi the blind swordsman. In homage to his character, the screen turns black and slash marks cover the screen. The only thing missing from this is Zatoichi's catchphrase when he makes everything go black in the gambling parlors. This attack can be performed at any time, as long as you're not in a hit stun, and even works on bosses.

The battle system, much like the entire game itself, is super fast paced and responsive. Basically, if you loved beat em ups of days long gone this game is for you. How fast you attack is dependant on the type of blade you use. There are two types of blades: the long blade and the short blade. The long blade yields high damage and, when used to its full potential, allows you to sweep large groups of enemies up in your path of destruction for big combos and quick victories. It's slower than the shorter blade and I found it best used in boss battles. The short blade doesn't deal heavy damage, but is good if you like fast attacks, and an easier set up for combos. I found this type of blade best used when large groups of enemies attack at once.

To get into full detail of of the battle system would take forever, so I'll sum it up as fast as I can then move on. You have a low stab attack (used to hit downed opponents to continue your combo), a regular stab attack, an upward slash (can be used as a launcher and to hit opponents jumping toward you), a dash slash attack (can be repeated up to 3 times, and is controlled with directional buttons and attack button. Think Chipp Zanuff's Alpha Blade), and a dropping stab attack from the air. All attacks and combos are performed with the game's single attack button, and the directional input. It's easy to pick up and requires practice to master. Once you get the hang of it, though, your enemies are already dead. You can also parry attacks by hold the attack button, but this requires a small portion of your blade's soul meter. Once depleted, the blade with shatter and must be sheathed to heal itself.

To enhance the already deadly abilities of your character, each new blade has its own special "secret art" attack. You perform the blades special attack by pressing the designated button. To limit the use of these mostly deadly attacks, the art requires a portion of your blade's soul. Some arts can be performed in mid-air and the ground, while some can only be performed on the ground. Some add to your combo count while some don't. Either way it's all good.

MENU/MAP INTERFACE

The menu screens are easy to navigate, and the Item Shortcut feature is used to make healing yourself or your blade during battle a snap. The save screen has an insanely fast load time, almost as if the game is as excited about being played as you are to play it.

The map also keeps you moving through the game at a break-neck speed with its super helpful setup. You have two options for map display: keeping the map limited to a view of the current grid you're in or super-imposing the entire map over the game screen. If you think that sounds stupid you are surprisingly wrong. The map's design is in keeping with the wall scroll/anime design theme of the game, and I think it actually COMPLIMENTS the graphics as a whole. The map is just a series of stylish black rectangles and squares indicating the "rooms" of each province. It's relatively transparent, except where items and other helpful things (e.g. shops or shrines) are indicated. As if this all wasn't enough, the map even indicates the direction in which you need to head in order to complete your missions. This keeps you from getting lost and also just plain looks cool. You also have the option of not using a map at all, but I recommend using it since there's no reason not to.

OVERALL

I skipped a lot of other stuff that I enjoyed about the game, but only because if I went into everything I liked about this game no one would read this entry completely. It would simply be too long. It's much easier to review a game with flaws, because then you know what is important enough to mention. This was tougher than writing about any game I've written about so far. I will say this: there is something here for anyone who is a fan of ninja/samurai movies (some of the in-game challenges have titles that reference classic movies) or beat em ups.

The game is fast-paced, blends seamlessly from one chapter to the next, has a good enough story for each character to keep you interested, and is just an extremely user-friendly game overall. Anyone from the youngest to the oldest gamer can play and enjoy this game without feeling it's too hard or not challenging enough. As I've said before, this has done what no other game has done in the past few years: delivered a 100% enjoyable experience without making the gamer make comprimises over the game's flaws. If you own a Wii and do not buy this game then you need to just trade the damn thing in already.

Wii Owners

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:08:33 GMT

If you're one of those people who didn't get No More Heroes or MADWORL, your last chance for redemption is to buy Muramasa. DO IT NOW.

NOSTALGIA ATTACK

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:18:33 GMT

Pete and Pete for the damn win.

Yes, please.

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:18:30 GMT

No More Heroes 2 trailer. THE MINIGAMES ALONE ARE RETARDED BOSS!

Something is wrong with you if you are not getting this game on launch.

OTG?! OMG!

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:43:54 GMT

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

Words given to me by soan :

Twitter- I use Twitter. I think it's fun, and allows for more light-hearted updating in the spur of the moment. It's fun to be able to post a quick update from my phone on the spot, or from my computer when a funny thought comes to mind. I don't feel that LJ is the place for updates like that.

King of Fighters- My first introduction the KoF characters was actually Capcom vs SNK 2. I had played very few SNK fighters (Samurai Shodown being one of my favorites at the time) because I didn't grow up around anyone with my interests in gaming, and CvS2 opened the door to other SNK games. Iori Yagami's character design was interesting to me, and I really enjoyed his brutal fighting style. After I learned more about him and Kyo Kusanagi, I started getting into the KoF games. I'm not a pro KoF player, but I love the series.

Earth Worm Jim-Hands down one of the best SEGA games ever. I have it downloaded on my Wii. This game holds a special place in my heart because it brings memories back of good times as a child, and not just gaming memories. The cartoon was also awesome AND LET'S GET THIS RELEASED ON DVD ALREADY YOU PUT SAM AND MAX ON DVD SO LET'S GET SOME EWJ LOVE OKAY THANK YOU BIG BUSINESS.

Guilty Gear-I was actually exposed to this series through a couple friends. I went over their place, and one of their friends was practicing GGXX in training mode. I was blown away by how smooth the graphics, character design, and music were. I've been playing ever since, and own every major installment in the series starting with the first GG for Playstation, and ending with Accent Core Plus. I don't own the XBox RPG-type game because I don't own an XBox.

That funny guy-I guess this means soan thinks I'm a funny guy? I mean I guess I'm pretty funny, so that's cool.

I'm sure this is asking for trouble! (A retro game review as done from time to time by yours truly)

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:50:39 GMT

As you all know, I just recently joined the Dreamcast party. So I got some recommendations from friends as far as games to get. I've picked up a few games on my own, and for the most part the Dreamcast is a solid enough system. The biggest problem I've had with the actual console is the controller design (who the fuck OKed putting the cable on the BOTTOM of the controller?!), but it's manageable.

It seems like the largest chink in the Dreamcast's armor was not in the console itself, but the designers of the games. The best example I can provide is the first Marvel vs Capcom. The controller has a D-Pad and an analog. The D-Pad is a monster, and can wear on the thumb after extended use. The smart thing to do would have been to let the player have the option of using the analog, instead of only being able to use the D-Pad exclusively. Sure, you can buy and arcade stick (I got one as an anniversary gift), but you shouldn't have to. It's small things like this that can ruin a console's shelf life. Unless you have giant monster hands, this makes the game extremely difficult to play with precision.

While the Dreamcast is obviously a well-rounded system, and some of the games I have played so far have displayed tight, responsive controls, some games are just terrible.

Which leads my to the main point of this post, and something I'm sure everyone who owns a Dreamcast will be angry over my opinion on: Jet Grind Radio.

I'm sorry, but this has to be done, people. I scoured the internet, looking for any review of this game that didn't praise it as the savior of videogames everywhere. I only found one, but it was poorly done. I just don't see how so many people can overlook the huge flaws in this game and call it the greatest thing since blowjobs.

I'll start off on a good foot before I start listing the bad things.

GOOD:

Story

In typical Sega fashion, they've taken a weird ass idea and made a game with it. Futuristic rollerbladers who use graffitti to fight authority? Okay, Sega. I'm down. The story actually develops into more than just that. There's conspiracy, and an underlying plot from an evil organization. All the staples needed to keep a game like this from getting stale after the first hour.

You also get a hip hop underground DJ who gives you some exposition between stages, and spouts random nonsense. It's all pretty enjoyable.

Graphics

The stage designs are awesome, even by today's standards. I could easily see this being a Wii game if it were never put on the Dreamcast. The character designs are kind of weird, at first, but aren't that bad. The cel shading really fits with "tagger" theme of the game, I think. The ability to make/download other tags is also a good touch, and makes it a little more personalized.

Music

A pretty varied soundtrack, featuring groups you've probably never heard of, and some you have. A lot of the songs are pretty good, and fit well with the game as a whole. The way the songs are mixed make them blend almost seamlessly into the next song.

Controls/Gameplay

This game is about two things ~~kicking ass and chewing bubblegum~~ tagging and skating. There are three kinds of tags, small, large, and extra large. The small tags only require that you hit the context-sensitive "tag" button once the action bubble with your tag in it appears.

The other two require you to move the analog stick in predetermined motions to successfully complete your design. The small tags are my favorite because you can score big points, and just plain look cool, by grinding or wall riding while you tag. There are also tag spots you have to perform tricks to get to, and it's cool and rewarding when you finally get them. HELL! You can even tag helicopters in mid-air, causing them to crash and burn. That's pretty fucking cool! The other ones don't allow that because they require you to stand in one spot to initiate the tag animation sequences.

With good, we always have the...

BAD

Camera

They give you a button to fix your camera angle if you want to keep the camera behind you, but they made the HUGE mistake of doubling the camera and tag button. You have three unused buttons on your controller. Why double up a control? It's stupid, and creates problems later in the game when you have to tag opposing gangs.

There are also spots on the game where the camera totally fucks you. It's not always in places that are critical to completing a mission, but the biggest annoyance of this type is getting Combo to join your team.

The first instance is the second part of the stage where Combo (you, the player) and Beat are showing racing in the background, while a crowd bustles in the front of the screen. The first time I played this stage, Beat managed to knock me back, so when I reached this screen, he had a big lead on me. This meant I had no clue where to go, because I hadn't encountered this scene yet. So I ended up accidentally skating out the exit portion of the stage, and had to unlock Cube again before getting to restart my race with Beat.

The second instance in this race is when you get to the end of the half pipe, and have to run up the steps. Easy enough, unless you hit the fence (and unless you've played this a few times, and you will play it a few times, so you will hit the fence on the first go). What then happens is what I like to refer to as "the camera becoming epileptic". It doesn't happen for long, but unless you have completely dusted Beat (and you won't) it's enough for him to gain a lead. Once he has that lead, you're done. Pack it up, and try again.

In short (too late) the camera is the most glaring flaw in the game, and inspires enough rage on its own for me to dub this game bad. But some people wouldn't define that as the only reason to not play a game. I have no idea why, but for the sake of argument, let's continue down the list, shall we?

Controls/Gameplay

While I briefly mentioned the skating aspect of the game in the good, its place truly is in the "bad" section. I understand that this game is not specifically designed to be a skating simulator, but when you include skating as a major aspect of gameplay (since, you know, that's how they get around and all), it's going to be compared to skating simulators. The skating could have been so much better. The first Tony Hawk was far more tight on turns, and far more forgiving for slight inaccuracies in trying to jump from rail to rail (which is a requirement to recruit some members to your gang. So be prepared for numerous retries).

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an "extreme sports" simulator fan. My experience pretty much begins and ends with the first two Tony Hawk games, SSX, and (forgive me) Sled Storm. My limited experience with these games still tells me that the developers of JGR half-assed a lot of stuff, because they may have wanted to focus on more of the aesthetics. That would have been fine, if they just wanted you to look at the game and never, ever, play it.

Trying to negotiate tricks and jumps on half pipes can be an ordeal (you know, the BEST opportunity for awesome tricks and building speed in any skating game ever?) as well. The second, the split second, your character touches the curved portion of a half pipe, they tuck down and lose momentum. That's also another issue in the Beat/Combo race, but still not as bad as the cameras.

Eventually you get characters that handle better (at least I THINK they handle better? I'm not sure, to be honest with you) than the stock characters. There's no way of really knowing how much better (if at all) any skater is than the others. The only three attributes displayed when selecting a character are related to how well they tag, and how much health they have. So there's really no way, other than trial and error, to pick the skater you think will be the most effective.

When it comes to actual interface with your enemies, it can get kind of lame. If an enemy character so much as breaths on you or vice versa you get knocked the hell over or injured. There is no retaliation. I can sort of get that, since the game's focus is skating and rebellion through tagging. But fuck! Could they have at least thrown in a weak left hook ala Road Rash?! Anything? The only time I found it necessary to gameplay is the levels in which you must tag rival gangs. They can knock you over and gain a considerable lead, but you can't hit them.

Menu Interface/Display

I'm sure now it seems like I'm just being a picky snob, but hear me out! In situations like recruiting, it would be nice to just be able to pause and hit "Restart Mission" when you know you're going to lose a race, or just want to restart a level. I know this was not a foreign concept in games at the time, since other games had it. The tedious options with which you are left are playing the level through, if only to wait for the sweet release of your defeat, or to exit the stage to suffer through selecting your options and having to sit through the cut scenes all over again.

There's also the issue of the map display. It really ruins the flow of a non-RPG/Adventure game for me when I have to pause the game to interface with anything. Since the map is kind of important if you want to find all of the tags in a time that guarantees a good score, you'll need to pause at least a few times on the larger stages. Again, like other games of similar genre in its day, JGR should have had an on-screen map in the corner somewhere.

This one IS being picky, but selecting the characters is kind of ass backwards. For example, to go left to pick Gum or Mew, you actually have to press right on the D-Pad/analog. WTF? Again, a minor detail, but when you take everything else into consideration it just makes it the doo doo icing on the cat litter and garbage Cake of Flaws.

OVERALL:

I'm sure that in it's day, the novelty of the game helped ease the pain of horrible flaws that a little more time in beta could have fixed. However, this game hardly deserves the acclaim and cult following it has. It's the first game to do what it did. I understand and respect that. Sega has always had great game idea, but unfortunately hasn't always had the best execution (this is why they're now just a software company, and not making consoles). This is one of those cases of a game that could have been awesome, but fell painfully short.

Some might say that I'm jaded to "old school games" because of all the new stuff out there. Those people would be dead wrong for two reasons: 1. This is not an "old school" game. It pioneered something new and the only other game to copy it was its sequel JSRF (I think a later Tony Hawk game ripped the tagging thing for its story mode, but that's about it), and 2. I still go back and play plenty of games OLDER than JGR. In fact, the majority of games I play are older games. There's just not much on the market today that stands out to me.

So there you have it. Feel free to post any comments you may have. As always, these are my personal opinions, and are not directed at anyone in a malicious way(other than the idiot game programmers that effed the game up). I understand the game is beloved by many of my friends, so I'm aware criticism my fly my way for this post. And that's okay. A difference of opinion over a game isn't the end of the world, and I won't flame anyone for disagreeing with my opinions (unless you flame me, of course).

Clock Tower: The Movie

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:49:38 GMT

For those of you in this community who may be asking yourselves, "Why would this guy feel the need to specify that it's 'The Movie'? Is it a book? A game?"

Well, friends. It's a game. A series of games (four games in Japan, 3 in Europe and the U.S.). The Clock Tower games are survival horror, the same genre as Silent Hill or Resident Evil. However, UNLIKE those games, Clock Tower limits the enemies you encounter, as well as the ways you can defeat/evade them. The first two games (the first of said games being released in Japan only for SNES, Wonderswan, PC, and later PSOne) will have encounter only one enemy throughout the game's entirety: Scissorman, a supernatural murderer who wields a giant pair of scissors. You cannot kill him until the very end. Your character must use the environment to hide or temporarily incapcitate your enemy in order to escape his clutches. He appears at random, or when you trigger his appearance by solving a puzzle or finding an item of importance. This creates a great deal of suspense, as you feel just like a helpless horror movie protagonist (throughout the franchise, the protagonist is always a young woman) would, given your limited ablities.

I can't honestly tell you much about the third (second game, if you're counting by American/European releases) game, other than it deviates from the original two games, and deals more with demonic possession and such. I played this title for a half hour and turned it off. It was too weird for me at the time.

The fourth (third) game, from what I gather, has next to nothing to do with the third (second) game and sort of ties in with the first two games, but it's very subtle in some places, and less subtle in others. In this title you are given more enemies, but also given more ways to fight back. The game is broken up into parts, each one with a different apparition as the boss. The boss monster is the one chasing you through its respective part of the game, and you follow the same strategy of hiding or incapacitating it. There is one difference here, however. You get a bottle filled with holy water to splash at the monster in tight pinches. At the end of each part, you have a boss fight in which you get this magical bow and arrow combo to chain the monster down and banish it (ala Cardcaptors, for you anime types).

I think these games are all well done, and definitely do the job of scaring the crap out of you. It's the only horror survival game series I've played that actually made me scream out of genuine fear and surprise.

The reason that I went into such depth about the games themselves was to 1. Hopefully turn those of you who like these types of games on to a new one you may not have heard of (the series has a strong cult following, but never gained the mainstream like Silent Hill or Resident Evil did), 2. Show those of you who have never played the game what you could expect from the movie, and 3. Stir some discussion from those who may have played these games, and see what aspects you would hope to see in the movie itself.

I didn't talk much about these games story lines, because except for the first two, they're all very different and have little to do with the previous games. I also figured that a rambled on enough about the individual games that you all would stop reading halfway through if I continued on any longer.

So, to cut to the chase, what are some thoughts out there from those of you who have seen horror games made into horror films? Are you anticipating this title, or are you dreading it?

From Twitter 08-03-2009

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:01:20 GMT

08:04:21: Woke up to find @theBardofAvon following me. It seems I'm being haunted by the great minds of days passed.
08:13:01: @DanHibiki This guy was the best. Right down to the embroidered gi.
08:18:12: @martyfnday It could be worse. You could have to wake up before 5 a.m., like @DJPhalluz and I.
15:42:53: So far I've found Fatal Frame 2 to be more annoying than scary. Thoughts?
18:04:42: @AMachen HER NAME WAS LOLA! LO-LO-LO-LO-LOLA!
18:40:19: @leaute Because Link is a herm. Duh.
18:43:30: @demios101 I sense great nerd rage.
18:48:52: @demios101 tell em you need to rescue the president from ninjas

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 08-02-2009

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:01:17 GMT

02:54:38: @demios101 might make this a weekly thing if you're down
02:58:53: @demios101 we'll manage without you. But when you're back you can come
11:11:24: Afro Ninja's web redemption: http://bit.ly/mQlxK
11:12:44: @demios101 Yep. He pulls it off this time.
11:32:05: @demios101 Is it any shock that it did? NINJAS DON'T HAVE FROS!
14:54:56: @DJPhalluz has asked me to play through the second Fatal Frame for her. Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 08-01-2009

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 06:01:19 GMT

09:47:35: @demios101 were you the law?
10:00:37: @demios101 did you make the tears rain down like a monsoon?
10:03:53: @demios101 I don't think there's much room left for cying, when your face has been reduced to powder like that.
10:06:55: @demios101 Well played, Sir Law. Well played...
10:08:00: @DanHibiki If you were there, then you were one of three Dans there. Only one of them was good. I hope that was you.
10:08:41: @demios101 THE "L" IS FOR LAW!!! EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME LAW!~
10:15:12: @demios101 She's getting ready for a birthday party.
10:18:32: @demios101 yeah it's for a kid. Then I'm taking her out for hers tonight
10:20:46: @demios101 I know. This is how all of your other friends feel!
10:23:03: @demios101 She's not big on birthdays.
10:26:51: @demios101 message passed.
12:04:19: Children's birthday parties: a wonderful way to see tension in a stranger's marriage. This is amusing
12:07:00: There's only one other grown man here, and he's busy masking his dislike for being the griller.
12:07:51: The rest are all mothers and kids
12:16:18: Also listening to the mothers bitch about how they wish they looked like @DJPhalluz is pretty funny too.
12:25:52: Another guy showed up. He is now conferring with the other dude over the whole grill issue. I thought this only happened in sitcoms
12:29:31: If I ever become a pudgy loser husband, all of Twitter has my permission to end my life.
12:32:54: The new guy actually brought two pairs of sun glasses with him. He's holding one pair and wearing the other.
12:35:57: @demios101 This dude, much like dual shades, is not cool. That is the exact opposite of cool.
12:38:37: @demios101 well I now know you're lame enough to do something like that! The Fonz never wielded dual shades!
12:41:53: @demios101 no, you're thinking of condoms
12:44:20: @demios101 maybe I was thinking rufies. Rufies in his jacket.
12:48:28: @demios101 he gave them to the ladies AFTER they consented so they wouldn't die from the pain when he penetrated them
12:52:50: @demios101 so now we solved THAT mystery. We also have all realized dual shades are uncool
12:55:10: @demios101 not to me, but the inscrutable law of The Fonz.
12:56:56: @demios101 which is why I'll never be cool. I'll just have to settle for being awesome.
20:18:21: @demios101 huh?
21:10:30: @demios101 SUPER JEW! AWAY!

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 07-31-2009

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 06:01:21 GMT

04:46:52: TGIF: Thank Cthulhu IA FHTAGN!
04:53:52: @demios101 Maybe you're right, because I found that shit HILARIOUS.
07:45:54: @DJPhalluz huh?
08:07:46: @DJPhalluz ah.
08:31:45: @HowardLovecraft Oh. Well that's okay then. I've been meaning to show you this http://bit.ly/14FyZZ
08:31:58: @DJPhalluz I get what you mean.
08:35:05: @DJPhalluz Yikes. That sucks.
09:49:43: Follow Friday: @martyfnday for web comic goodness, @HowardLovecraft for looking into hidden realms of terror, @bernieh for mo' web comics.
15:12:07: OH WHAT THE HELL STOP YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG OH MY GOD YOU ARE STILL DOING IT WRONG STOP. http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/59750
15:16:50: SERIOUSLY?! DISNEY AND STEAMPUNK AND A ZOMBIE/ROBOT GOOFY THING? MY SOULL! IT HURTS!
15:17:53: @martyfnday One day I will eat that man's heart, and claim his power for my own.
16:12:20: @martyfnday Well I have to. How else will I prevet "Epic Mickey" from raping the souls of the world?
16:14:14: After I've let the shock settle down, "Epic Mickey" seems like it could be kind of cool. May God help us all.
21:19:33: @demios101 MickEY! Good grief, man! Don't you remember the song? "M-I-C-K-E-Y S-O-D-O-M-Y!"
21:20:25: That's how you sepll "mouse", right?
21:20:31: SPELL
21:21:51: @demios101 Curse my fat, fat fingers...
21:26:50: @demios101 I have "stupid fingers" like in that Simpsons episode where Lisa learns she'll never play the saxo-mo-phone as well as she wants.
21:28:01: @demios101 I have a feeling like this "Epic Mickey" game is going to have Mickey say something like, "I fucked your dad!" then shoot a guy.
21:36:29: See...Epic Mickey looks like it was pulled from my nightmares: http://bit.ly/BMrOd
21:36:53: So what the fuck do I want to play this for?!

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 07-30-2009

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 06:01:32 GMT

05:37:22: @martyfnday if you want good sushi, stop off in Newport, RI. Go to a place called Sumo Sushi, and tell Steve (the owner) that I sent you.
10:11:10: @HowardLovecraft sure that wasn't an egg, sunny side up?
11:56:42: People are attracted to Gary Olman in Bram Stoker's Dracula?! EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!
11:59:33: *Gary OLDman
12:00:05: I guess it's better than people jizzing over the Twilight vampires. I GUESS.
12:33:42: @DJPhalluz Reading writer's block answer to some vampire thing on LJ.
13:45:04: @martyfnday It might be time to apply for that job at Stark Industries!
14:41:46: @eliphaslevi Kind of like a dildo?
15:32:24: @eliphaslevi That could make spells really painful or pleasurable, depending.
15:45:01: Everyday on my drive home I look at the harbor, silently hoping that leviathan will rise from the depths to swallow my city whole.
15:49:46: @demios101 Punching them in the cock?
15:52:08: Physical violence is a type of positive reinfircement, where I come from.
15:52:34: REINFORCEMENT
16:00:16: @demios101 DUDE WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH YOU THINKING I'M ILLITERATE. I HAVE READ THE NOVEL.
16:01:27: @demios101 Seriously man! I may ACT like an idiot but I am well-read. Your usual friends have conditioned you to be used to morons, it seems
16:02:55: @demios101 urging me to READ A BOOK, asking me if I know who Pavlov is, BEING SURPRISED I LISTEN TO THE SPECIALS?! GULLAH GULLAH ISLAND?!
16:03:38: @demios101 I'm going to launch a campaign to get your a circle of friends that can count higher than 100.
16:05:49: @demios101 Are they really? I've always thought you couldn't have one without the other.
16:09:34: @demios101 No. It would be a paradox if you couldn't read a book to learn something without becoming more stupid as a result.
16:10:39: @demios101 You're thinking of "mutually exclusive" maybe?
16:12:30: @demios101 I don't see how you got that from what I said. Are you trying to troll me now, or something?
20:42:38: I guess jokes about ninjas silently ejaculating is the line.
20:56:41: @demios101 ngyar! Peter!
22:19:48: @HowardLovecraft Yeah. "Mountains" was pretty effin' long. I was more disappointed by your description of the boxer in "Herbert West" though
22:21:59: @HowardLovecraft Seriously, Howard. You have some racial issue you need to work out, man. And "The Horror at Red Hook"? Bad form!
22:47:45: @danieltosh More parkour accident videos. And by more I mean some. Please.

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 07-29-2009

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:01:24 GMT

08:16:46: Nothing makes my Wednesday quite like having to fix someone else's fuck up. Today is the wrong day to be on my bad side.
10:13:14: @martyfnday DUDE. Panera is DELICIOUS.
10:27:26: @martyfnday I KNEW there was a reason I felt so sleepy after eating there. I thought it was the chicken. Turns out it's killing me? Heavy.
12:02:17: Sorry, dude, but I'm unfollowing @KentAllard. Nothing personal, I just can't stand the spam Twitters from your quiz results.
13:15:01: @KentAllard I appreciate it. It just becomes a chore to sift through the result tweets to read stuff from my friends and whatnot.
19:44:06: Sometimes I really, truly contemplate the worth of my friends.
19:48:28: @demios101 something someone did.

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 07-28-2009

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 06:01:22 GMT

08:42:40: @DJPhalluz Sorry. Was working. What about your My Album?
08:50:27: @DJPhalluz I'll see if I can figure out how to change that. So how did you get it to work if your a restricted user?
08:54:04: @DJPhalluz So whose computer are you using to look at your album?
08:59:30: @DJPhalluz Weird. I thought you could only view MyAlbums online.
09:04:30: @DJPhalluz Ah. That makes sense.
09:12:28: @DJPhalluz No.
09:15:35: @DJPhalluz For once, yeah.
09:16:56: @DJPhalluz A mix of both.
09:25:04: @DJPhalluz That's work.
09:33:58: @DJPhalluz If you want to, sure.
09:36:41: @DJPhalluz Panera, if there's one close by.
09:41:35: @DJPhalluz Yes, please.
09:44:51: @DJPhalluz That's fine, babe.
09:51:01: RT @DJPhalluz @demios101 And clearly you're most qualified to criticize on that point.(@demios101 Yeah, dude! What the eff?!)
10:11:46: @demios101 Had I the ability to tex message from work, all of this tweeting would be unnecessary. Alas...
10:19:07: Ugh... I just referred to it as Tweeting. I AM losing my mind.
14:11:53: I AM SRS BIZZNEZZ: http://bit.ly/1bgbK
14:55:03: @demios101 Now all they need to do is make a Fist of the North Star about a loveable supernova who raps. They could call him Sunny D!
23:06:44: New LJ Post http://bit.ly/BZ8iv
Need to be my friend on LJ to see all the goodness.
23:21:12: Once I dreamt of a spectre with the face of a wretched old woman, whose very gaze froze men in terror; aided by sinister, masked surgeons.

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com

From Twitter 07-27-2009

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 06:01:25 GMT

08:29:43: All right. I want to beta test video games and make money doing it. I needs me some people with which to network. Any ideas, Twitter?
08:41:58: @DJPhalluz Heh. I got two from that post.
08:42:38: @demios101 It just seems like an easy way to make money in spare time without actually working.
08:50:26: @DJPhalluz Actually the one was talking about salmon fishing. Weird.
08:50:56: @DJPhalluz AH! Got one that you described now.
08:51:14: @demios101 Is it wrong that that sounds fun to me?
08:52:18: @DJPhalluz If I could do that I would. Totally.
09:00:41: @demios101 I don't want to do it because it's fun. It sounds relatively easy. That's the key: supplementing my income with minimal effort.
09:01:03: @DJPhalluz That would be all the more reason to do it in my book. Plus, free fish.
09:08:47: @DJPhalluz I WASN't, but I am now.
09:09:50: House Boat for sale for 6,000...
09:13:28: @DJPhalluz No, I actually found one for $6,000.00
09:17:36: @DJPhalluz I think so. I know there's a spot in the harbor where people have their houseboats docked. I think you rent your dock space.
09:23:00: Huh. Houseboats are a cheaper form of housing than actually owning a home.
09:24:57: It seems once you get past the initial expense of BUYING the houseboat, it costs a little over $4,000.00 a year.
09:27:14: @DJPhalluz There are also no taxes to pay, unlike owning a home. So what I'm really saying is how would you like to live in a houseboat? =P
09:44:44: @DJPhalluz I don't know. Double decker house barge?
11:10:54: @DJPhalluz I'm sorry to hear about your awful hair cut, babe.
11:11:29: Mildly annoying day for the lose.
11:12:30: Being broke and hungry at the same time sucks. Good for weight loss, but it sucks.
11:16:38: @DJPhalluz What would you need me to do?
11:18:21: @DJPhalluz Day is annoying due to being slightly hungry and listening to junior Marines piss and moan about doing work.
11:19:29: @demios101 This statement implies that you were ABOUT to start spouting fashion tips, but caught yourself. Trap: Success.
11:20:25: @DJPhalluz You don't have to bring me anything. Don't need to spend money on me. And I guess I can try to blend your hair.
12:44:28: @DJPhalluz Sure. Thanks, babe.
12:49:29: @DJPhalluz Okay. I appreciate it.
14:01:18: My first work-induced laugh of the day: seeing the frustrated look on a young Marine's face after I told him to "Shut his vag'."
14:01:48: Now back to my delicous food, brought to me (lovingly) by @DJPhalluz
14:59:39: @DJPhalluz Some new kid. His name's Beers. Funny enough he grew up in Rhode Island.
15:23:25: @DJPhalluz It's what I'm here for: shaping the minds of the future. Today.
19:34:25: @martyfnday Does is it sound like, "OM NOM NOM"?
19:35:13: Some people are actually looking forward to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland movie? WHY?!
19:35:51: @KentAllard Please. Please. PLEASE don't you dare say you're looking forward to the "Alice" movie.

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com